What’s one lunch you could eat every day during quarantine?

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I’d have a nice glass of water to clear my palate. Then, I could lick some of the flour dust out of the dry goods cupboard.

After I’d got my tongue nicely floured, the main course. I think there are some two hundred year old Chex in the back of somewhere. I hate Chex. Calories in there though.

Mix those with a bit of jam for flavour. Mmm. That’s the end of the jam then.

Well, I guess this won’t work for ‘every day’, but it would be the first of my indoor meals before heading out into the yard to dig roots and collect fat bugs.

Tip for the backyard survivalist – crush bugs into a paste. Dry the paste in front of the fire (or baseboard heater if that’s how you roll). Crumble that up into powder.

Then, you can thicken the boiled random leaves you’ll be eating with a protein-rich additive that doesn’t have identifiable wings and eyes.

Of course, rice and nothingness is pretty normal inter-payday fare for me anyway. I live alone on a small pension, and expenses run ahead of intake a lot. I was most annoyed about the toilet paper thing – I got the last eight rolls on my island, and they were the small ones. Those have to last me a while, and no certainty of more when I do get money – or if I’ll be in lockdown by then.

Even if you don’t eat, you gotta shit. Biological fact. I only have so many old t-shirts I can bury out there.

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